Wednesday, May 27, 2015

How could I?

It's been quite a while. And all these while I thought everything were okay and that I am leading life as it is. But, it's actually tearing me apart inside and I really don't know how to fix this part of me. I used to get all excited and look really forward to seeing you. My heart always skipped a beat when I see your texts appearing on my phone screen. But as time goes by, the meet ups and texts get lesser and naturally the anxiety level drops. So, I thought it was a sign that I am finally letting you out of my mind. But, I don't know why the emptiness feeling actually multiplied after I last saw you. I actually felt sad over the distance between us now. But then again, it's probably just one sided. Probably it's only me who is feeling this distance. I tried to be nonchalant when we met but deep down I am so curious to death. So curious to know how have you been, what have you been busy with, any new girls and it just goes on and on. Questions piled up in me one after another but they never seem to find their way out. The harsh reality that we can never go back to how it used to be struck me so hard that I feel so sad over it. And because there's nothing I can do, I feel so helpless and suffocated. 

Honestly, what can I do? How could I completely let you go. Do I really need to meet someone new so that I can forget you? I don't know and I don't think I will ever know. 

最溫柔的 都冷淡了
成了你的局外人 最遠的那一個

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

you build me up and tear me down, like an old abandoned house

Friday, October 03, 2014

Anxiety and Pressure

5 more days to BB Project submission.
6 more days to Birthday.
10 more days to MR Project submission.
21 more days to first exam paper.

October - I don't know to be excited, happy or depressed.

I didn't want to pin my hopes too high because I fear disappointments. Been having a lot of thoughts running through my mind. I wanted to talk to someone. But then again I thought maybe not. Everyone is so busy and caught up with their lives. Everyone is having as much a rough time as I. Perhaps I shouldn't bore them with mine. And so, I keep I keep I keep.

I just have to reassure myself again that everything is going to be fine. I just need to keep believing.

Tuesday, September 02, 2014

It's okay. Sometimes I don't even know what I want either. At one time I feel so enlightened and determined that I have let go of everything. And then at another time I felt that I am just deceiving myself, I have never ever once forget you. And then each time I felt like this, I will start listening to emo songs which is of no help at all. It just made me felt even worst. 

"Don't let him decide when you should move on" - today, right now I felt so enlightened again by this particular statement. 

It's only when I have let go by focusing on other distractions in life, that I will still have a chance to meet him again. And by  then, I will be happier without him in my life. It's better than letting him decide when I should move on, and each time I meet him, I will feel so sad that I probably won't even want to meet him anymore. And, that will make me even sadder.

Tough. But come to think of it, I already did it once. I can definitely do it again. And I am hoping, there won't be a third time. I am so tired. So so tired. 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Foodporn in Korea

It's been two weeks since I came back from Korea and I am already missing the food there like crazy. Had so much good food that I was so afraid I couldn't fit into any of my clothings.

This is like my fifth trip there and honestly, I can never get sick of Korea. All the cheap and uber good cosmetics, shopping like crazy and also all the awesomely good food. Oh man, I can live my life like this everyday.

Anyway, here's my own list of the Top 10 die die must have food in Korea (:

1. 치맥(chimaek)
치킨(chikin, chicken)+맥주(maekju, beer)
Two Two Chicken

2. 냉면 (Naengmyeon)
Cold Noodles
오장동흥남집 Ojangdong Heungnamjip

Get off at Euljiro 4-ga Station (Seoul Subway Line 2 or 5), Exit 8.
Go straight 200m and turn left onto Mareunnae-ro Road.
Go straight 200m to arrive at Ojandong Heungnamjip (오장동 흥남집) on the right.

Dongdaemun History & Culture Park Station (Seoul Subway Line 2, 4, 5), Exit 6.
Go straight 250m to arrive at Ojangdong Heungnamjip on the left.

3. 자장면 (Jajangmyeon)
Noodles in black soya bean sauce

  一品香 (Yi Pin Xiang)

4. Street Food

오뎅 (Odeng - Fishcakes in spicy soup)

김밥 (Kimbap - sushi) and 떡볶이 (Tteokbokki - spicy rice cakes)

빈대떡 (Bindaetteok - mung bean pancake)
Gwangjang Market
Hours of operation
Market hours: 9am - 6pm (Closed on Sundays)
Food market: 9am - 11pm (Open year round)

Jongno 5-ga Station (Subway Line 1), Exits 7 and 8
Eulgiro 4-ga Station (Subway Line 2), Exit 4. Walk 100m.

5. 고기구이 (Gogigui)
Korean Barbecue


6. 설렁탕 (Seolleongtang)
Korean broth (soup) made from ox bones
하동관 (Hadongkwan)

Eulgiro 1-ga Station (Seoul Subway Line 2), From the underground shopping center connected to the subway station (을지로입구지하쇼핑센터) take exit Eulji2 (을지2) out of the shopping center.
Go straight out of the exit 150m and stay on the left side along Myeongdong 9-gil (명동9길). 
The restaurant will be on your left.

7. 부대찌개 (Budae Jjigae)
Army stew
심슨탕 (Sim Seun Tang)
Coming out from Hongik University Station, Exit 9 (홍대입구역 9 출구), go all the way down the road of the same direction, until you see TGI Friday Restaurant a your left hand side, and Cafe Bene at the opposite.
Cross the road and turn left, Cafe Bene should be at your right hand side now. 
Continue walking straight until you see Mister Donut. 
Continue walking down till you see Taco Bell.
There is an alley between Holika Holika and Tony Moly. Turn in and walk straight.
Until you see another crossroad, turn right and walk in. The shop is at your left hand side (right behind Trick Eye Museum).

8. Issac Toast
(Ham and cheese - my personal fave!)


9. 게장게젓 (Gangjang Gejang)
Raw Crabs in soya sauce
프로간장게장 (Pro Ganjang Gejang)

Sinsa Station (Subway Line 3), Exit 3.
Go straight and turn right at the next corner.
Go along Gangnam-daero97gil until you see Pro Ganjang Gejang on the left side.

10. 찜닭 (Jjimdak)
Steamed chicken in Korean soy sauce
열봉찜닭 (Yeolbong Jjimdak)

P/S: There are many many other really good food that is a must try if you are in Korea. I will update the list again!

Monday, August 04, 2014

come on, be cool about it and let go of whatever feelings you have left.

離席了才會曉得懷念 突然我記起你的臉 
那觸動依然像昨天 對自己我終於也 

但那天已經好遙遠 繞一圈 

我們都沒錯 只是不適合 
我要的 我現在才懂得 
快樂是我的 不是你給的 

愛不愛不過一念之間 繞一圈

我們都沒錯 只是不適合 
親愛的 我當時不懂得 
選擇是我的 不是你給的 

謝謝你 謝謝你 我嚐過 愛的好 

我們都沒錯 只是不適合 
我要的 我現在才懂得 
快樂是我的 不是你給的

選擇是我的 不是你給的 
幸福要自己負責 錯過的 請你把握 

Friday, August 01, 2014

Five & Dime

Dinner at one of my fave place yesterday! But still prefer the brunch menu thou. Been craving for it for like the longest time ever.

Earl Grey Chocolate Tart - was a total disappointment (meh!!!!)
No earl grey taste at all, felt so cheated. 

Anyway, love conversations with the girls. The topics that we talk about seriously, people will think that we are in our thirties man haha. It's hard to find friends who share the same thinking and understands what you are going through. I am glad that these girls are somehow different yet similar to me in a way. This bond that we have, I believe it will last for a lifetime (: